*** 三 小 的 唬 爛 人 生 ***

It has been a long time since we last talked.

I even doubted if I still loved you.

I am sorry. I was overwhelmed with an unhappy marriage and trying to take care of my children. I know that's not an excuse. I guess I am just too afraid to face you because I have abandoned all the things we loved. All my craft and art material have been torn away.

I blamed the daily chaos that made me unable to connect with you. I have become bitter, angry and resentful. That's not good for anyone. Especially my children, they are only 4 and have to put up with my temper.

Could you possibly forgive me? Without you I am a mess and a terrible person. I am sorry that I used to push you away and ignore you. Deep down I really need you to feel alive and possibly meaningful. I missed the dreams we had, whether it'lets being a visual artist in the basement of New York Soho, a photographer who can support herself with her work or a theater artist working with Bread and Puppet Theater.

I no longer know who I am or what I want to do. I just follow the flow of daily life and feel crashed under this angry black hole. Please talk to me again and let me love you. With our love and connection, anything is possible.

Talk soon!

Sincerely,

You